Loss

The world I know has forever changed. This past week my dad passed away from complications due to cancer. He is in a better place now and at peace. No more testing, doctor visits or hospital stays. He gave it his all and stayed positive but it was time for him to move on.

The loss of a parent is so very difficult. I don't feel like I quite understand what it all means yet but it is already feeling different. I am devastated and very sad, however, I feel relief knowing that my dad is no longer dealing with cancer. While staying with my mom this past week I would come across things of my dad's. It made me miss him even more, especially with his death so recent. I am sure I will come to treasure things of my dad's more and more rather than feel sadness. For now, though I feel sadness.

Coping with loss is hard but I have found that laughing and humor are helping me through. My family and I have shared many wonderful stories about my dad in the past week and it helped me remember the good times. The process of grief is interesting. After this busy week of preparing for the visitation and memorial service and being surrounded by friends and family, I now prepare to go back to work tomorrow (my mom does too). It feels right to be doing that, going back to work, but feels weird too. Sometimes I feel like this experience is surreal, but I know that it's the way things are now. The world I know has changed....not really for the better or for the worse, it's just different and I will grow to accept it and appreciate that change as something that was meant to happen.

Here are some favorite pictures of my dad....


My dad and I at my wedding. We were being directed by the photographer to pose and Jennifer caught us in a funny moment!


Enjoying Bloody Mary's on Mother's Day 2004 at the Creamery in Durand


Dad water skiing on the Chippewa Flowage at age 61!


Mom, Dad and I at my rehearsal dinner, May 2005.